Mama L. lost her mind today,

and Mama M. threw hers out the window too!

Dear Journal,

Most of the time, I think my Mama L. is the smartest human on earth. She knows how to listen when I try to tell her something, she knows when I’m not feeling good, and she knows when it’s time to take me out or when to give me a treat. Best of all, she always knows when it’s time to play laser light (my favoritest thing in the world!)

So today, she drove both me and Little Sis to the Dog Park (my 2nd favoritest thing in the world!)  We ran around like crazy banshees — well, I did; Gingersnap! just looked a little lost and confused as usual. It was a really nice day — the sun was high and warm, the birds were chirping, the bees were buzzing — I tried to catch one one day, but I got distracted by the ants instead coz they were a bit easier to track since they are on the ground and all and not moving very fast. Anyway, where was I? Oh. Right. So anyway, it was just really nice all around. We were out there for about an hour or so — I didn’t see Teddy or Mr. Biggs or Olive or Lola or Wiener or any of the old gang, but Daisy was there! Daisy looks just like me, almost, except she doesn’t have spoilers on her hind legs like I do. Which means, of course, that I’m still the fastest dog in the Dog Park! Nobody can keep up with me, no sir! When I run, it’s like I got the wind beneath my wings, whatever that means, but I sure run fast! It makes me so happy when I can run that fast! When we are at home, both the Mamas let us run around the house and play chase, and that’s oodles of fun too. Lil’ Sis would race around the kitchen island and then through Mama M’s closet room, but I’m smarter than she is so I can always figure out where to stand to catch her. (And I always do!)

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah…so anyway! We finally left the dog park, and I was in a really nice nappy mood — like I said, the sun was out and it was warm and it was the perfect time for a nap — when Mama L. said, “Let’s take them to Pet Express and give them a bath there!” That woke me up fast! I looked at Lil’ Sis and Lil’ Sis looked at Mama M. and Mama M. said “Yes, that’s a good idea!”

NOOOOO!!! NOT A GOOD IDEA!!! A bath in public places is NEVER a “Good Idea”!

It was the most horrifying, humiliating experience in my entire dog life!  The only complaint I heard from Mama M. was that she had to spend $15 bucks for a token. That’s it? That was the only thing you can think of to complain about? What about the lukewarm water? I haven’t been that cold since Christmas! What about that noisy hose that sucks the skin right off of me? I don’t have that much hair, fercryingoutloud! I almost jumped off the table and ran out the door if it weren’t for Mama L. grabbing my neck! My tail was tucked in the whole time and even my hind legs were quaking, and still, Mama M. wouldn’t stop. It wasn’t until Mama L. bathed Lil’ G. that Mama M. felt bad for me. And then they both said “We’re never doing this again.”

I’m not sure if it was because of the $15 bucks for maybe a 15-minute experience, or if it was because of the look on our faces and the shivering of our bodies, or maybe it was because of the all the other dogs laughing at us as we were paraded out (there was a pet adoption event in front) — whatever it was, it made Mama M. felt guilty enough to get us all treats. I’m chewing on one right now!

Let’s hope both the Mamas found their brains and never suffer us like that again!

This is a really tasty knuckle bone! Yummmmmm.

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