Dear Stupid Dogs,

Surprised? That’s right, I know you keep a stupid diary or journal or whatever you call it. I just want you to know who’s boss around here. Yes, you are cute. Yes, all the attention is on you right now. And yes, maybe somebody poisoned your little pea brains to think that dogs are superior to cats, but I am here to tell you otherwise. You just remember who’s got the sharper claws. You just remember who can clear a 6-foot Japanese screen without even breathing hard. You just remember that I was here long before you were even conceived. I’ll let you have your fun right now, but ultimately in the end, you’ll know who’s the real boss…

Beatrice, THE Cat!

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