Dear Stupid Dogs,

While you were trotting around the house with your tail tucked and your ears down, moping over some stupid and obnoxiously loud piece of orange rubber toy, I was responding to a higher and more noble cause, plotting the revenge of the BP and TransOcean CEOs who have caused much sadness in Mama L. lately. Because I can. I’m a cat. We are naturally gifted when it comes to the psyche and the intellect. Unlike you stupid dogs who can’t even think beyond your next meal.

I must have a chat with my friend, Ms. Squirrel, to see how progress iscoming along. It’s really hard to track her down when she jumps from tree to tree like that. Oh, there she is. She looks like she’s in deep thoughts again. Maybe she has contemplated a really good plot to get rid of those evil men. I just want to dump them in the same ocean that they have contaminated and see how they hold up. They probably wouldn’t learn anything anyway.

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