Dear Stupid Dogs,

Let’s get this straight. Ms. Squirrel might have given you the benefit of the doubt, because she is a classy chick. And by chick, I mean squirrel. I had thought the Mamas finally came to their senses when they took you both away over the weekend, and that I would finally have the household back in working order. It was so peaceful around here. No stupid dogs. No stupid barking. No stupid growling. No stupid laser light. No stupid squeaky toy. No stupid greasy chewcaps. I got to nap all day long in perfect quiet bliss. Annabelle and I haven’t been this content in a long time.

I thought about it a lot over the weekend, because it was Father’s Day and all. I wonder if this is what most fathers go through? Do they put up with so much crap that they secretly wish their kids would just go away and leave them in peace and quiet? Afterall, they must work hard their whole lives to put food on the table and a roof over their heads. They never have much time to enjoy their alone time, because face it, stupid dogs like you would never give them a moment’s rest.


Well, alright, listen. I may think you are the world’s most stupidest dogs, but truth to tell, I kinda miss you over the weekend. Just a little. Not a whole lot. So don’t go getting a big head and telling everybody that you’re the world’s greatest gift or anything. Once things go back to “normal” around here, I am sure you will do something to annoy me. Like you usually do.


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