Dear Ms. Sibley The Squirrel,

I was speechless after your post — you sound so elegant and all. But it was Grandpa Dwight who pointed out that just because you’re eloquent doesn’t mean you’re to be trusted. He actually called you a terrible liar! As a matter of fact, Grandpa D. reminded me of the avocado incident! Mama L. also remembers the corn incident. I have been innocent all along. It was YOU who slandered me!

Oh, and by the way, how convenient of you not to have a camera! I was only tasting the strawberry you mentioned; I was not stealing it. You have absolutely no proof of anything. It’s just your word against mine. If Auntie Juniper was here, she would say that the evidence is inconclusive. Or whatever they say in law-speak.  (That’s right, you didn’t know that I know all the right people in the right places, did you? I am Auntie J’s most favoritest dog-niece in the world!)

Anyhoo, I asked Mama L. to take a picture of what YOU did. Clearly, the teeth mark indicates that it was you who most frequently visits the vegetable patch. From now on, please resist from making me out to be the bad guy. It won’t work anyway…I have the law on my side.

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