It is I, Sibley the Squirrel. I have chosen to remain incommunicado because I feel quite betrayed by you. You may not know that you have done anything wrong; for this, I will give you the benefit of the doubt and hence this post. But you did not come to my defense when Grandpa Dwight accused me of 1) being a thief and 2) being a liar — and apparently a terrible one at that. Believe you me, if I was to lie, I would not be terrible.
And I am certainly no thief.
Furthermore, this picture of the vegetables from her garden shows that her vegetables have remained untouched and unblemished by me.
I cannot and do not blame Grandpa Dwight, because after all, he IS a human, and the Good Lord knows, humans are full of faults. He can’t tell one squirrel from another – and you know that saying: we all look the same. But if he had only looked a little closer, he might have noticed that I am missing a particular set of gonads that was evident in my forebear — the same one that Grandpa D. reminded your Mama L. of the avocado/corn incident.
Again, I reiterate: I am innocent of all wrong-doings. I respect the garden. I respect the Mamas’ space and use in the garden. I have no intention of raiding said garden, except to occasionally plant a peanut (I am still certain that I can grow a peanut tree!)
As a last resort, I offer this photograph as proof, once and for all, of my innocence. I am not naming names. I will just let the picture speak for itself.