Dear Diary,

I’m in such a quandary and I don’t know what to do about it. Madeleine is my Big Sis and I love her more than anything in the world almost as much as bones, and I shouldn’t tell on her. Supposedly, it’s also written in some Dog’s Bible that dogs don’t tell on each other, or the Big Dog Spirit would come to visit. But it’s not really fair to the Squirrel, or to Beatrice I suppose, or to the Mamas. I keep hearing this back-and-forth between Ms. Sibley and Beatrice The Cat about who stole the strawberries and I just want to holler out that it was Madeleine the whole time! But I can’t, coz she’s my Big Sis. But I should, coz Ms. Sibley didn’t do it.

See, this whole thing started when the Mamas dropped us off at Uncle JO’s and Auntie Lillie’s Summer Camp for Dogs. Madeleine has always been a dickhead, so that’s not really anything new. But then Belle, Uncle JO’s dog First Dog, decided to show Big Sis a few tricks, including picking strawberries at just the right time. (The right time, of course, is when the Humans have already seen the strawberries and they’re waiting for it to be perfectly ripe. But you got to get to the strawberries before they’re ripe.) Anyway, Belle taught Madeleine that trick and she’s been nothing but trouble since then. As much as I love her, I am really surprised that she hasn’t come clean with all of this. I really thought Madeleine was much bigger than that.

But she’s not, really. She’s actually a big scare-dy cat – no offense to the real cast. Last weekend, the Mamas brought us into the City coz they were pruning and grooming and primping. They decided that not only were they were going to get a hair cut, we were also going to get groomed! I didn’t have any problems whatsoever, especially after the turkey jerky (WOW! I love turkey jerky!!!!). But oh my god, you should have seen Madeleine when the nice people started going for her toe nails. You’d think they were after her only organ or something. I have never seen Big Sis so terrified! I was so well behaved that the Mamas kept telling me that I’m the role model now! Whatever that is!

Well, I suppose I could just sleep on it some more. It’s always best when I’ve had a couple of days to think about it. I’ll probably think about it some more tomorrow in the shower. Every morning, I jump in the shower to get my day started right, just like Mama L. does. I still haven’t figured out why this step is all that necessary; it gets awfully wet.  But when Mama L. sees me in the shower with her, it always seems make her laugh, so I suppose that it’s a good thing!

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