Dear Stupid Dogs,

I haven’t seen hide nor hair of Ms. Sibley the Squirrel so I will have to guess that she’s moved out of town. I can’t imagine any reason why she wouldn’t talk to me, although one of you Stupid Dogs managed to convince her that I had a grudge against her for the stupid Strawberries. Like I said before, I could give a rat’s ass. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass.

Sigh. There I go again. Is it could or couldn’t?

Anyway, the other day I heard Mama M. yelled at Mama L. that one of you Stupid Dogs brought a rotten peanut in the house. Mama M. said that rotten peanuts are toxic and we all had to keep an eye on you Stupid Dogs in case you get sick.  Too bad. Apparently that didn’t work. The point being, somebody had to bury those rotten peanuts, and I know it wasn’t the Mamas. I guess it’s Ms. Sibley’s Revenge, after all.

But I still don’t understand why she wouldn’t be speaking with me. What did I do to deserve the silent treatment?

Mama M. also yelled at Mama L. for not letting you Stupid Dogs post any new entries for over a week, although she acknowledged that Mama L. was busy with setting up the front office and all. Plus, she still had to go into work for a little longer. Apparently the work people don’t want her to completely stop work yet. Well…all I know is that the Mamas still managed to carve out some time away from you Stupid Dogs, and me, and Annabelle, to go play a round of golf last weekend. Mama L. said it was the best game they had ever played. They both scored  below 40 for a Par-3 course! (Honestly, I know absolutely nothing about what that means, but they were pretty happy about it. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that it was their 7th anniversary.)

There have been a few changes around the house, too.  Last weekend, Mama M. broke down the fish tank because I think she was getting tired of cleaning it. Oh well, no more kitty TV for me. Then, Mama L. moved all the stuff from the back bedroom into the front room because that’s going to be her office now. Which means, I have no longer have a launching table to get to the window — I’m still ok for right now, because I can still jump that high. It’s just so inconsiderate.

Anyway, the only reason why I’m writing to you Stupid Dogs is that we must keep an eye out on the Mamas. They’ve been behaving erratically. First, with all this moving of stuff around. And second, with all the attention we’re not getting. I consider this to be urgent and of the utmost importance! We must pull our heads together and come up with a plan!

This evening Mama L. finished her new vegetable patch. She read from some astrologer that yesterday and today were the best planting days this month for above-ground crops. The list I heard  she told Uncle Witold was broccoli, kale (several varieties), lettuce (what? not again!), brussel sprouts, one new variety of zucchini, and one pumpkin! None of this excites ME, of course. Where’s the catnip?


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