Dear Diary,

I ate a green high-lighter yesterday. Beatrice knocked it off the table for me and told me to eat it. It tasted like what I thought bright green would taste like. But the little plastic pieces were upsetting my stomach a little, so I threw up in front of Mama L. when she came home from work. You should have seen the look on her face! At first she was trying to figure out what the green pieces were, and then she started getting really worried because they were hard and sharp pieces. She didn’t yell at me, but she didn’t need to. I felt really bad that she was all worried. I wish I could speak Humanese! I would have told her I was alright. She found some more pieces on the couch, along with all the white stuffing that Madeleine ripped out of the pillows. Then she kept muttering something about crates and how she wouldn’t have to worry about us so much if we were in the crates during the day. If a crate is anything like what I remember from a very long time ago when I was still really really young, that would be just awful! I wouldn’t be able to do anything but sleep all day. And what would I chew on?

The worst part was that it wasn’t even my fault. Beatrice is usually pushing things off the table and counters and telling us to eat them. Like Mama’s earphones. Well, the first set of Mama’s earphones. The second set was because Big Sis pulled them out of her bag.

The Mamas have been a little sad lately. There’s a lot of stuff going on in the outside world that’s making them sad. Mama M. said the whole planet is angry. We have had earthquakes and tsunamis and flooding and dead birds and dead fish and lots of weird stuff going on ever since this year started. We’ve also had a lot of human conflicts in places I’ve never heard of before…places like Egypt and Syria and Libya and Bahrain and Yemen. Mama L. said it’s the Middle East which has always been troublesome, and it’s a good thing we’re not over there. I think that’s one of them places where they eat dogs. Or maybe it’s Asia. I’ve never been there either, but I wouldn’t want to go anywhere where nobody loves dogs.

So we try our best to make the Mamas happy so that they keep us safe and warm and full. Madeleine and I both twirl for treats and wag our tails really hard and look cute. And I know the Mamas love us! The day before yesterday, when there was a little break in this boring weather, Mama M. came home early, and they both took us to the cemetary where there is a really big area of grass and we raced around and chased each other until we ran out of breath. It was great fun! We love the Mamas so much!

Oh! I almost forgot! Grandpaw Dwight came down for a visit and we got to see him over the weekend. We hadn’t seen Grandpaw D. in a really long time, so it was really good to see him. I was scared at first, but I didn’t pee!! The Mamas played Domino Smackdown with Grandpaw, I mean, Baron Rousemuncher, until the wee hours of the night. I was soo doggone tired trying to focus on the game, coz those pieces look like bones! That, and the Baron kept saying something about a “boneyard”.  After a while I gave up, and Madeleine and I put ourselves to bed coz we couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer. Last we heard, Mama M. won the game. Which is a good thing, too, coz she’s lost all the other games they’ve played for a while.

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