Dear Grandmaw B.,

We are writing to you to ask for your help. Well, I am, anyway. It seems that the Mamas have fixated on me being “not in shape”, and have taken it upon themselves to exercise me every week now. You know what that means, don’t you? It means endless walks that take hours to complete with very little reward at the end. (Mama L. gave me a tiny TEENY little piece of chicken-wrapped banana as my reward.) Little G! is, of course, oblivious to everything, as long as she thinks it’s food or fun, which almost everything is. Plus, with those long italian grey-hound legs of hers, she doesn’t get as tired out as quickly as I do. And she’s in good shape, from chasing Mr. Squeaky Lion all the time. Although the other day I overheard Mama M. saying how Little G! has “back fat”. It’s probably a good thing that Gingersnap! didn’t hear Mama M. said that, coz then she’d be asking me what that means and it would take me all day to explain. (She’s not the brightest bulb in the Christmas tree.)

Speaking of Christmas, are you coming back out anytime soon to bring us goodies? We could really use some. The latest thing that the Mamas got for us is this big cage thing that they put in the front room. I’m not really sure what it is for. Mama L. has been trying to get me to go in it, but I don’t think I will by myself. I mean, there’s really no point to it. She keeps dropping chicken treats in it. Of course, Little G! went right in and gobbled them all up before I can get to them. But still, Mama L. could easily give me chicken treats anytime she wants to — I wouldn’t complain — so I’m not sure why she’s going through all that trouble. It makes me a little suspicious, if you ask me. Last night Mama M. crawled in it and she was having so much fun giggling with Gingersnap! that I crawled in too! It really wasn’t a big deal. But why go through all that trouble?

Last Friday, our yard man came and demolished the back yard! You should see it, Grandmaw; it’s gigantic! There’s nothing left but dirt and the orange tree. Ginger! and I had a great time chasing each other around, now that we have so much room to play in. That is, until the Mamas saw us and yelled at us for getting dirty! Honestly, what are we supposed to do? I am hoping that the Mamas put in a big dog park for us, but I’m not so sure that will happen. Mama L. kept saying something about vegetables. Well, as long as I get to chase Little G! around and around, I don’t care what she grows back there.

Licks and love,

Madeleine

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