What’s wrong with possum poop?

Dear Journal,

What a terrible afternoon!

The day started out nice enough. Mama M. went to work as usual. But what was not usual was that Mama L. went for a run! She came back all sweaty and complained how old and stiff she is. I am not so sure about this exercise regime she has decided to be on. Isn’t it supposed to be fun?

Anywho, after she came back from lunch with Auntie Jodi, whom she hadn’t seen in a really long time, she was in a really good mood so she took us for a really long walk. (Although I have a sneaky feeling it might be related to her exercise regime again.) It was a hot day, so we just hung out and watched a little TV after we got back.

Then Mama L. decided to give us some free time in the back yard while she prepared dinner. I love free time! That’s when Little Sis and I get to run around unsupervised and explore our yard! Sometimes I just want to nap in the sunshine, but today was different! In one corner of the yard, underneath our orange tree, was the most delectable pile of poop ever! Naturally I rolled in it; the scent suited me perfectly!

I ran in the house to show Mama, and she leaned over to give me a kiss on the head, and that what was when she yelled “OH MY GOD MADELEINE YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT!” (Actually, what I heard was “blah blah blah Madeleine blah blah blah Shit.”) Madeleine and Shit in the same sentence is never a good thing with Mama L. She scrunched up her nose and squinted her eyes and made a horrible face. And then she pushed me as far away as possible, mumbling something about possum poop. Damn her scientific nose!

You’d think I had just shot the president or something.

Now I smell like lavender and mint. Big whoop. So much for being an individual in this household. Too bad Auntie Joompur is out of the country at the moment. I am sure Mama L. violated a couple of amendments in there, and I have no recourse but to endure.

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