Dear Stupid Dogs,

Auntie Peggy (yes, your Auntie Peggy, precious Little G!) sent ME a cute little thing to post. I find it most endearing. Perhaps you can learn a lesson or two…..

I have excluded all of the meaningless pictures. Afterall, they have nothing to do with ME. 
The Story of Adam & Eve’s Pets

Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’ 

And GOD said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’ 

And GOD created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. 

And it was a good animal and GOD was pleased. 
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’ 

And GOD said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.’

And DOG lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. 

And they were comforted. 

And GOD was pleased. 

And DOG was content and wagged his tail. 

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. DOG has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’ 

And GOD said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’ 

And GOD created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. 

And CAT would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into CAT’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. 

And Adam and Eve learned humility.  <My favorite part of the story!>

And they were greatly improved. 

And GOD was pleased.. 

And DOG was happy. 

And CAT . . .

…didn’t give a shit one way or the other.


Dear Auntie Peggy,

I am so happy!! You don’t know how happy I am to have you as my very own No. 1 Fan! I have always wanted my very own fan, ever since Madeleine told me all about Ms. Karen, her No. 1 Fan. I am not sure what privileges come along with having a fan, but Big Sis trots around the house like she’s the Princess, so I figured it must be a good thing. I would trot around the house, too, but I would probably get in trouble. Big Sis is always putting me in my place, because she’s supposed to be the alpha top dog, and that’s what top dogs do. Or at least that’s what she tells me.

You should tell your Fiona the Cat that I am VERY respectful of cats. I never mess with Annabelle at all, because Mama L. tells me she’s an old girl and I need to be very careful with her because I’m like a bull in a china shop. I don’t know what any of that means, but Annabelle has very sharp nails and I don’t mess with her. Beatrice, on the other hand, is fun to stalk. I like to follow her around the house and bark at her so she would play with me. But she’s not really the playing type, at least not with me, although I’ve seen her rub up against Madeleine every now and then. She doesn’t do that with me, though, because I’m not the alpha top dog.

But I do so love the squirrels in our neighborhood, Auntie Peggy! When Mama L. walks me around the neighborhood, I try to talk to all the squirrels. There’s one in particular down the block that likes to tease me by throwing little red seeds at me. I don’t mind at all, and instead, would just sit right down and whiny at the squirrel. She seems to enjoy this exchange although she doesn’t seem to understand a word of doganese. I don’t understand a word of squirrelnese, but I can always tell when they get agitated. Their tails pump up and down a lot. One time, I witnessed a stand-off between Stanley the Cat and Ahab the Cat down the street. Rex the Cat was sitting in the middle of the street watching those two hiss at each other. But a squirrel (whom I have yet to meet) was sitting on top of a tree branch right above Stanley and Ahab, and was cackling away, throwing pine cones at them. It was such a good show!

I hope I get to meet you some day, Auntie Peggy! Mama L. told me you’re the greatest Auntie a dog like me could ever ask for. I ask the Mamas to find a song so I can show you my appreciation. Here it is!

Dear Stupid Dogs,

I realized recently that one of the reasons why you are both so dense is that Mama L. has been too busy to tell you what’s happening around the world. She used to stay current with global news because she knows how important it is to think beyond the little worlds we all exist in.

In an effort to expand your dim little horizons, I have decided to be magnanimous and share with you the important news that has been circulating the last few weeks. I know Mama L. has a lot on her plate right now, so it’s the least I can do.

Let’s see now. Where to begin.

Well, this is relatively old news, but I can’t just shake the image out of my head, so it’s best to share. Sometimes in the beginning of June, a gigantic sinkhole appeared in Guatemala City. It’s over 300 feet deep (they say), although I can’t see the bottom – which leads me to think, what if there is no bottom? The people surmise that it might have been caused by flood waters from tropical storm Agatha, but just look at that hole! It is perfectly round! I think it was a meteor!

Speaking of tropical storms, there have been a bunch of hurricanes, and the latest one was called Earl. They thought it was going to flatten Long Island, but it turned out to be a dud.

What turned out to be quite devastating was the flooding in Pakistan, which resulted from the annual monsoon rains they have been experiencing since July. This is the worst they have seen in the past 80 years. At one point, approximately one-fifth of Pakistan’s total land area was under water. The United Nations estimated that more than 21 MILLION people are injured or homeless. Damages to infrastructure and crops are estimated to be at least $43 BILLION dollars.

At about the same time, Russia experienced a series of hundreds of wildfires due to record high temperatures and severe drought primarily in the western region of Russia. Their president also declared a state of emergency. Damages are estimated at about $15 BILLION dollars.

Isn’t it odd that one country had so much rain water and another one close by had none?

Speaking of fire, some freakish fire tornadoes hit Brazil in an arid area that hadn’t seen rain in three months. Fortunately, the whirlwind of fire disappeared quickly so there wasn’t much damage done. But can you imagine how terrifying it must be to witness that?

There’s more, but I suppose this is all very depressing. Hey, at least they are natural disasters and not something caused by man. Did you know that on any given day, there are, on average, 30 wars around the world? (I believe they prefer to call them “conflicts”.)  Some of these conflicts have lasted over 60 years, like the insurgency in Burma. Others we remain in even though we know we can’t win, like the war in Afghanistan. It’s always the native people who suffer most, not the military folks who actually do the fighting. The aftermath, if there is an “after” math, is always ugly and messy – no matter who wins.

Slavery is a system in which people are the property of others. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand wages. The organization Anti-Slavery International defines slavery as “forced labour.” By this definition there are approximately 27 million slaves in the world today, more than at any point in history and more than twice as many as all African slaves who survived being taken to the Americas in the Atlantic slave trade.

Anyhoo, there is a bit of good news. Mama L. finally found my favorite mouse and was letting me play catch with it. I thought of your tender sensitive little noses as I swatted and clawed and chomped down on the little mouse. I bet your noses are twitching right now, aren’t they? That makes me very happy.

See? I told you there’s a bit of good news.

Dear Diary,

The Mamas have been praising me for being such a good watch dog lately. It’s mostly because I found my inner beagle. Or maybe it’s my inner dachshund. Whatever it is, I have this irrepressible (I know! Another big word!) need to bark at anything that makes a strange noise. I also bark at people I don’t like. Here’s a picture of me practicing on the couch! I thought I heard a strange noise at the front door. It turned out to be nothing at all, but Mama M. said it’s better to be safe than sorry. I think she meant “bark all the time”! That’s why I practice.

Last week, Mama L. came home with a really pretty present from her friend Amy.It looked really yummy, just like candy, but it didn’t have any taste whatsoever.  Mama L. said that it is a Jade from Big Sur! I don’t know who Big Sur is, but why couldn’t he make Jade that tastes like candy? What’s the point of making something really pretty if it doesn’t taste good? Then Mama L. explained that it’s a rock, not food, and that I should leave it alone because it’s supposed to be for the office. I gave it another lick, just to be sure, but that make the Rock even shinier! But it still didn’t taste any better, so I went off to find something I know is good.