Dear Mei Mei,

You are not going to believe what happened to me! I got what you had – a urinary tract infection! I am so miserable! I just can’t get comfortable no matter what I do. Here I am trying to look “cute” to get Mama L.’s attention coz I don’t know how to tell her I don’t feel good. Well, it must have worked because tonight she ordered me some natural remedies and have the shipping expedited so that I can be better soon. Anyway, in case you ever need to tell your Mama Amy, try looking as cute as you can – it seems to work well on humans. And then go pee on their bed if that doesn’t work.

Meanwhile, I asked Mama L. to post the link to the website where she got my meds.

Dear Diary,

Two of my favorite things:  Mama M. and napping!

Dear Ms. Sibley The Squirrel,

I was speechless after your post — you sound so elegant and all. But it was Grandpa Dwight who pointed out that just because you’re eloquent doesn’t mean you’re to be trusted. He actually called you a terrible liar! As a matter of fact, Grandpa D. reminded me of the avocado incident! Mama L. also remembers the corn incident. I have been innocent all along. It was YOU who slandered me!

Oh, and by the way, how convenient of you not to have a camera! I was only tasting the strawberry you mentioned; I was not stealing it. You have absolutely no proof of anything. It’s just your word against mine. If Auntie Juniper was here, she would say that the evidence is inconclusive. Or whatever they say in law-speak.  (That’s right, you didn’t know that I know all the right people in the right places, did you? I am Auntie J’s most favoritest dog-niece in the world!)

Anyhoo, I asked Mama L. to take a picture of what YOU did. Clearly, the teeth mark indicates that it was you who most frequently visits the vegetable patch. From now on, please resist from making me out to be the bad guy. It won’t work anyway…I have the law on my side.

Hi MeiMei!

Our Mama L. told us all about you and then your Mama Amy sent these pictures of you!! What a cutie pie you are! How come you so shy? You shouldn’t be so shy when you’re this cute. Mama L. said that your Mama Amy had somebody — a cat whisperer or something — come over to talk to you coz you don’t understand English. Or maybe you do and you choose not to listen. In any case, you should know that your Mama Amy loves you very much, and she’s always worried about you and your happiness. She’s cool like that. She’s a good human. We know, coz our Mama L. is a good human, too.

Well, listen — if you ever need to talk to some real felines, you just let us know. Well, mostly Annabelle, coz she’s old and wiser. When Mama L. told us about Max, Annabelle said to just ignore him and he’ll go away. Annabelle has had to put up with a lot of dickheads in her life, so she knows a thing or two about bad asses, and Max just sounds like a bad ass to her.  In her younger days, she used to chase down ferocious avocado pits and renegade red potatoes. Anyway, you just keep that in mind.

Dear Diary,

Mama L. swiped my butt twice today, because I chewed through the stupid basket where Mama M. hid Mr. Squeaky Lion. Mama L. didn’t know that at the time, so I guess I can forgive her for swiping my butt, but it’s really not very fair. I still have my left baby canine and it’s really bothering me! My teeth itch! I can’t help it. I’m normally a pretty good girl. I just can’t help chewing on things right now coz my teeth itch!

That, and Mama L. is just being mean in general. Look at this video; you’ll see what I mean!

Dear Journal,

It was 3:07 a.m. this morning when Mama M. woke up with a blood-curdling scream. “GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, TURN THE LIGHT ON, GET IT OFF!!!!!”  Naturally, I assumed she was talking about me since I was sleeping contently with my muzzle on her ankle.

Mama L. and I both jumped off the bed, alarmed and completely disoriented, while Mama M. ran around ripping her shirt off and swatting at her face. Little Gingersnap! backed up against the headboard shivering and Beatrice’s tail looked like a bottle brush. We all looked at Mama M. and silently questioned her sanity. Maybe she had a nightmare?!?

Well, it turned out to be a little itty bitty creepy looking bug! We don’t know where it came from or how it got there, but Mama M. squashed it with a vengeance and that was the end of that.

Just to be safe, I’m sleeping with my muzzle on Mama L.’s ankle from now on.

“Mother Nature’s Seduction”

Mother Nature’s Seduction

When I dream
of blown leaves
and the lullaby
they create upon the ground
as the wind whispers them along
gentle scrapes that leave behind
no trace or scars
just an empty space
where the colors of fall
used to reside
each a soft wet kiss
leaving only its hand print behind

Poem by ~erw7984, inspired by a photo called “When I Dream” by Mike Shaw. Both at www.deviantart.com (no longer onfile).

The Return of Mr. Squeaky Lion!!!!!

Dear Journal,

This might have been the worst day of my life, except for that one day when the Mamas lost their minds and took us to Pet Express  for a public bath! It’s a toss up at this point.

Mama L. came home after work and took me for my afternoon walk. I saw a bee and immediately went over to say “hello”, except, well, the bee had other ideas. Oh my god oh my god oh my god, I have never ever felt pain like that in my life! That bee stuck its stinger in the most sensitive part of my lip right under my nostril! That thing hurt so bad that it made me cry and I ran around and around real fast to try to get rid of it. I even shook my head vigorously and rubbed my nose all over the grass, but I couldn’t get it off.  Mama L. didn’t know how bad it was because I had to go poop like I normally do.

After we went home, Mama L. took Gingersnap! out because it was her turn now. The sting started to hurt a lot worse, and it seemed like Mama L. and Lil Sis were gone for a really long time. I started getting really dizzy and nauseous and I was looking for them out of the window when it started to hit me really hard and I threw up everywhere. And then I pooped again! It was a nightmare! I couldn’t stop the pain and it was actually getting worse!

Then Mama L. and Lil Sis came home and she immediately knew something was wrong because she saw the mess and my ears were down coz I wasn’t feeling good. But she didn’t yell at me and instead cleaned up my mess and started to talk to me really sweet and soft. Then she saw the stinger in my lip! She tried to get me to calm down but I was really scared because that thing really hurt! I trusted her, though, and with one quick move, she pulled it out of my lip. What? THAT little thing caused that much pain? Heck, even Little G’s teeth don’t hurt as much.

Anyway, that’s when Mama M. came home and Mama L. told her all about it. Then Mama M. told Mama L. to call the Vet and they said to bring me in right away! The Mamas threw us in the car and drove all the way up to Montclair Veterinary Hospital. By now, my face had swollen up considerably — my muzzle was crumpled and my eyes were turning into slits because they were so swollen. I was having a hard time smelling and focusing on things so I was getting really scared. But the Mamas kept me calm by talking to me the whole time and telling me what a big dummy but good girl I am.

I love the people at Montclair Vet! Doctor Gary Richter is my favoritest vet in the whole world! Apparently he is everybody’s favorite vet, too, coz he was mentioned in the Beast of the Bay! I have the biggest crush on him!  Anyway, Dr. Richter gave me an anti-histamine shot and a steroid shot and told the Mamas that they need to keep a supply of Baby Benadryl on hand for situations like this.

It wasn’t too long before I started to feel better. I’m almost back to normal now except for the sleepy part. I can’t stop yawning! The swelling in my face finally went down about two hours after the medication. Dr. Richter did say that it might come back so the Mamas should give me another dose soon. Right now I’m enjoying all the attention, though. Not that I would ever go to that extreme again, but it sure is nice to get all the lovings.

Dear Diary,

Oh my God, what a miserable weekend! I was far away from home and I was cold and tired. The Mamas were selfish and wanted to spend a weekend to themselves. They hauled us off to Uncle Jeff’s and Auntie Lillie’s and dumped us off as if we were a big nuisance to them. Why couldn’t they have brought us along to wherever they went? We would have behaved!

Instead, I spent the entire time hiding underneath the ottoman so that Belle and Daisy would leave me alone! I don’t know why they have to keep trying to smell me! They were really pushing it, too. For a while in the beginning, Madeleine would try to run some interference for me like she’s supposed to, but she then sold out! Apparently she and Belle found “something in common” (eyeroll) and they were inseparable after that. Some fine Big Sis she turned out to be! Daisy was okay, I guess, but she kept barking at me and I just got tired of it. Then I just got homesick and I missed the Mamas and I just wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed.

When the Mamas finally came back the next day to pick us up, I was SO HAPPY! And relieved! (I wasn’t quite sure if they were trying to ditch us. I have huge abandonment issues, you know.) Anyway, the Mamas were also really happy to see us, so I guess all is forgiven. But that didn’t stop me from letting them know how I felt. I had to wait until we got in the car to talk to the Mamas in private (I didn’t want to offend Uncle Jeff and Auntie Lillie in front of them, because they were really nice to us.) But to be sure, the Mamas need to understand that we must never go through this again.

I must say that the only good thing to come out of this is that Uncle Jeff isn’t as bad and scary as I thought he was, even though he is gigantic and smells like a guy. Auntie Lillie rocks, though, coz she is a woman and she understands me and knows what a sensitive puppy like me need and she was able to comfort me even though my Mamas weren’t around. If the Mamas were ever crazy enough to pull a stunt like that again, I suppose I wouldn’t mind hanging out with Auntie Lillie. She needs to go on a diet, though. That belly of hers sure is getting big!